I shouldn’t laugh but wooo ow

Right, i’m not a bad person but i laugh and find things funny. That in so many ways aren’t. Lets say i look at the bad things and see the funny side. I’m not sick it’s just a nervous things i think.

I’m laughing now.

So in a nutshell. I found it a tad bit hilarious that an insane man walked into a shop in Tenerife and in one fast purchase left with a woman head, calling it his treasure. Now woo ow. I know i’m not meant to laugh but Oh My God, this is movie worthy. He firstly used a machete that he did not buy to take a woman head. Then managed to leave the shop with it. Now it’s a shame that this woman head was else where but if i ever go to Tenerife thats is one shop i want to see.

Also i have these horrible drunk antics when i find it so funny that it’s stomach aching sore to march about like a Nazi. I don’t really like Germans, their language is swearing to me but i find this funny.

Other small things that i find funny, is in the film Twister, when the cow gets took up the hurricane and On Skins when Chris drops his baby brother in shock. I rewind it and watch it over. It’s that  funny.

I also find it funny, when someone coughs and fart. They didn’t except it either so they go red in shock.

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day 16 – a film that you used to love but now hate

day 16 – a film that you used to love but now hate – 

Braveheart, i really used to love braveheart, until i learnt about the white van that you see in the distance. I hate film mistakes as you can’t help but notice them. This one is a major hate.

I will give it one good point, its amazing and i feel proud to be Scottish after watching it.

Quote;

William Wallace: Before we let you leave, your commander must cross that field, present himself before this army, put his head between his legs, and kiss his own arse.

Used to Love

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day 15 – your favourite foreign film

day 15 – your favourite foreign film – 

To be honest i have only seen 1 foreign film, which i enjoyed. Battle Royale. Its In the future, the Japanese government captures a class of ninth-grade students and forces them to kill each other under the revolutionary “Battle Royale” act.

It’s a bit scary for my liking, and gross. I really think everyone should watch it, it’s fucked  up

Quote;

Teacher Kitano: So today’s lesson is, you kill each other off till there’s only one left. Nothing’s against the rules.

Scary

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day 14 – a film that no one would expect you to love

day 14 – a film that no one would expect you to love – 

Jurrasic Park, now i don’t care if you thinking, geekasarus. These films are amazing. They were so real when i was younger. I really love watching these film. But no one apart from my brother will watch them with me.

It’s Spielberg at his best. Well actually i’m arguing with myself. Spielberg at his best could be anyone of these ET, Goonies, Gremlins, Big Foot, Casper, Who framed Rodger rabbit, Men in Black. I want to own his imagination. I will write a blog about him.

Quotes;

Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
Dr. Alan Grant: I don’t know.
Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus.
Dr. Alan Grant: Ha ha. Good one.
Tim: What do you call a blind dinosaur’s dog?
Dr. Alan Grant: You got me.
Tim: A Do-you-think-he-saurus Rex.

Believe me i love it 

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13 – a film that is a guilty pleasure

13 – a film that is a guilty pleasure –

Ohh this is hard something that make you feel guilty,

Ohh i know.

Yummy. Alfie, 2004 not 1966 with Micheal Cainewhich was amazing aswell, but with Jude Law.

Now he is very dreamy, i would quite happily over-doze on sleeping pill for him.

Alfie tells the story of a young man who leads a male slapper of a life, he cheats on  all his woman, sweet talks his neighbour to clean his house, i man i should hate, but i really don’t, cheat happily on me please.

The reason i fell guilty, as i feel like i’m cheating on Robbie when i watch it. You don’t understand i love this film that much its unhealthy. Actually the DVD is missing, wonder who took it ?

Quotes;

Alfie: Whenever you meet a beautiful woman, just remember somewhere there’s a man who’s sick of shagging her.

Arrest me, I’m Guilty

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12 – a film from your least favorite director

12 – a film from your least favorite director

Right he is my least favorite for one reason, he is god in my eyes. A film god, i hate him because i want to be him. Judd Apatow.

Uh he has done everything so he directs some small stuff like 40 year old virgin and knocked up. Then decide aww maybe i’ll shit gold and produce Step Brothers, superbad, Get him to the greek, forgetting Sarah Marshall and umm Anchorman.

I’m pissing hate write know.

My film is Step Brothers. Only because my family has these real life people. Johnny Wilson and Danny Moffat. You don’t want to meet them, as they mind fuck you.

Quote;

Brennan Huff: You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.
Dale Doback: Yeah, I got ’em from the 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. It’s like masturbating in a time machine

Damn you Judd

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11 – a film from your favorite director

 

11 – a film from your favorite director — 

Now i don’t know if he is my fav director because i like a few Guy Ritchie (Snatch, Lock Stock) Christopher Nolan (Dark Knight, Inception) but the winner has to be Danny Boyle

Danny Boyle is amazing, he has to be the one of the best at what he does, Shallow Grave, Slumdog Millionare, Millions, The Beach and of course Trainspotting.

Ewan Mcgregor, Johnny Lee Miller and Robert Carlye aww the whole cast is amazing. I love the story of how this film was made, I will write a blog on it because i’m like a walking fact book on Trainspotting.

After he throws a glass Francis (Franco) Begbie: That lassie got glassed, and no cunt leaves here till we find out what cunt did it.

Man: [shouts] Who the fuck are you?
Francis (Franco) Begbie: Yeeeaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!
[kicks him in the crotch]

Go Danny Go Danny

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10 – a film you watch before bed

10 – a  film you watch before bed –

Right a bed film, so you know the rules, you need to have seen the film at least 25 times, know most of the words and fancy at least 2 cast member. So we have Rhys and Hugh, or Julia (i would)  I watch this film to get to sleep. but i fail i cant sleep until i have seen Rhys in his grey pants (Chics dig grey)

Notting Hill is amazing

Quote;

Spike: I knew a girl at school called Pandora. Never got to see her box, though.

Bed Time

09 – a film from your childhood

09 – a film from your childhood —

Aristocats, I L O V Eeee this film, it’s French, well French Disney, it’s about Cats. but it’s proper Disney you actually fall in love with the characters. This films make me feel 8 again, i want to run in the Disney Shop grab a Marie and scream till someone buys me it. You know ?

Marie: Me first! Me first!
Toulouse: Why should you be first?
Marie: Because I’m a lady. That’s why.
Toulouse: Oh, you’re not a lady.
Berlioz: You’re nothing but a sister!

Childhoody

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08 – a film that you know all the lines to

08 – a film that you know all the lines to — 

Rush Hour 1&2, i can safely say that i know all the words, i set myself a plan when i was a teenager to this day, if someone want to watch a film, i’ll suggest one of them and say I’ve never seen it. Sneaky i know. This film are the more updated Lethal Weapons. I really love them. Chris Tucker & Jackie Chan time defiantly fly’s when your having fun. I love the outtakes !

Quotes;

Rush Hour

Lee: Ah! Beach Boys!
Carter: Oh, hell no! You didn’t just touch my goddamn radio!
Lee: The Beach Boys are great American music.
Carter: The Beach Boys gonna get you a great ass whuppin’. Don’t you ever touch a black man’s radio, boy! You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man!

Rush Hour 2

Lee: You owe me a copy of the Beach Boy’s greatest hits.
James Carter: Don’t you go having gettin’ an attitude with me Lee. I been here three days and ain’t done nothin’ but work your cases. The only reason why I’m here in Hong Kong is ’cause you said you was gonna show me a good time. I’m on vacation, man! and I want some mu shu.
Lee: Mushu, you hungry?
James Carter: No, not mushu? MU shu. I want to see some women man. Now, stop playing dumb and take me to the SHU.

I know the script

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07 – a film that depicts your life

07 – a film that depicts your life –

The Hangover, now i’m not a dick, i don’t think i could steal a tiger, kid nap a chow, wait thats possible, Robbie collects them. But i can’t pull out teeth or marry a hooker. This film make me think of what our hen night or stag doo’s will be like. When i think about me and Robbie pals. This is my life anything is possible. My life is 50% hungover.

Quotes;

Alan Garner: Hello. How ’bout that ride in? I guess that’s why they call it Sin City.
[awkward laughter]
Alan Garner: You guys might not know this, but I consider myself a bit of a loner. I tend to think of myself as a one-man wolf pack. But when my sister brought Doug home, I knew he was one of my own. And my wolf pack… it grew by one. So there… there were two of us in the wolf pack… I was alone first in the pack, and then Doug joined in later. And six months ago, when Doug introduced me to you guys, I thought, “Wait a second, could it be?” And now I know for sure, I just added two more guys to my wolf pack. Four of us wolves, running around the desert together, in Las Vegas, looking for strippers and cocaine. So tonight, I make a toast!

Its Life

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06 – a film you wish you had made

06 – a film you wish you had made —

Inception, aww this film, aww i hate it so much, i wish i wrote it, i wish i was in it. God damn it i hate Christopher Nolan. He is the best ever. A dream with in a dream. Nightmare ! If you haven’t seen it buy it. NOW and the cast is amazing Ellen Paige, Leonardo DiCaprio and Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Quotes;

Cobb: [from trailer] Dreams feel real while we’re in them. It’s only when we wake up that we realize something was actually strange.

Chris i wrote this. Tell them

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05 – a film that reminds you of someone

05 – a film that reminds you of someone — 

Home Alone, all these Film remind me of my Brother, Johnny Wilson. He got the box set one year for his Christmas. He put this on every night to get him to sleep. The title screen music was creepy and it had smashing with screaming on it. Robbie woke up one night and thought i was getting robbed. But not that we watch this at Christmas time to get us in the festive mood. I love this film and so does my bro.

Quotes;

Kevin McCallister: This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I’m living alone.

Oh that reminds me of

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04 – a film that makes you cry

04 – a film that makes you cry —

I sob a lot, i like a small cry sometimes, i deem it healthy. So i always with out fail cry at most films but since a young age this film has really by far had me crying a river. The Lion King. We all know what bit. Its sad and really Disney at it’s best.

Quotes;

Pumbaa: It’s our motto.
Young Simba: What’s a motto?
Timon: Nothing. What’s a motto with you?

Sobbing

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03 – a film that makes you smile

03 – a film that makes you smile — 

My smile film has to be 10 things i hate about you. I love this film, it remind me of the feeling that you get when you start texting someone or at the very start of a relationship, Its a great film. With Heath Ledger, whom i love. I love it when he sing on the stairs.

Quote;

Bianca: There’s a difference between like and love. Because, I like my Skechers, but I love my Prada backpack.
Chastity: But I love my Skechers.
Bianca: That’s because you don’t have a Prada backpack.

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Kick Ass

 So i shall attempt no i will give you all my answer to The 30 Film task. I promise !

Any film fanatic will understand that this is a hard task. I love that many film lets hope we find homes for them. Let’s do this.

01 – your favorite film —  i will answer this last.

02 – your least favorite film —

Kick Ass, right well if you read my blog. You will understand that i hate Nicolas Cage. He really bugs me, i think it’s his face it’s plastic looking. Yukk. So this is my least favorite film because the acting was crap on his behalf. I love Aaron Johnson. But hate this film.

Quotes;

Dave Lizewski: Jesus, guys, doesn’t it bug you? Like thousand of people wanna be Paris Hilton and nobody wants to be Spiderman.
Marty: Yeah, what’s with that? She has like no tits at all.
Todd: Maybe it’s the porn tape, he doesn’t have a porn tape.
Marty: You guys never saw “One Night In Spiderman”?

Least Fav

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Since when did Kate Middleton become Kate Moss?

Right i’m confused.

Kate Middleton, is so-so, i mean for a Royal she is ok, well ok she is pretty! but she isn’t the Sheriff of the Fashion Police. Its boring me. I don’t want to dress like a have just been kick up the ass from a Camel. Yip Camel Toed.

I have been looking over the wedding dress, i think it was beautiful but to be honest i will not be dip dyed in lace at my wedding, My bus drives past two bridal stores both have got similar dresses to Kate in the window.

Now about lets say 3 billion, so they have all seen this wedding dress, the ohh and ahhs have been done. So why the heck would you want to wear a similar dress. Really.

The Dress

So the other thing that is really irritating me is the whole, with this Burberry trench coat,

Trench Coat

To me this isn’t something to get excited about, this is Emma Watson all over again, Burberry come on get a grip. We like Fashion icon who when they walk our streets, are

1, Ahead of time, i can get a trench coat and black shoes anywhere.

2, Are wearing something we can’t find anywhere, like vintage.

3, something we could never wear.

Kate is just a girl next door, who happens to have bedded a Prince.

Here’s a quick look of what a real Kate icon dresses like. Not some bland, talcish feeling i get from Kate.

The real Kate

k Kate Moss was only too happy to tell friends that her longtime friend, John Galliano , will design her wedding gown. She is taken the royal approach and only her and John will see the dress.

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I want to create a new like button

I’m writing because I’m baffled. Why do people talk to Facebook. There starting to have conversation with Facebook. I want a new button on Facebook that has either quite simple. I DON’T GIVE A SHIT or maybe something more regal like who cares or even noo waay!

I think now after my last Facebook post. It has got to the extreme of me wanting to shit on someone’s keyboard!

I like to think if someone is pissing me off they would no to stop pissing. Not in a do as I tell you way but a get a grip approach.

I think I Facebook gave us a new button we can maybe pepper this junk and have some nice tasty Facebook !

Thanks